Welp, I might as well confess. I’m not seeing anyone (as of this writing), but I do have two lovely assistants in this little sojourn of mine through life’s loops and twists, straightaways and dead ends. They are primarily from Touhou Project, which is a series of bullet hell (and take that literally, the purpose of the game is to find your way out of intrinsically formed mazes of missiles, beams, knives, bullet shaped danmaku…) top scrolling shooter games. Particularly amazing is that the maker of the series (going back to PC-98 days), Team Shanghai Alice, is staffed by only one person, ZUN. From story, to gameplay, illustrations, AND MUSIC. This man is amazing. Anyways, meet my compatriots (for now I guess).
“In a few hours, you’ll become a mist of atoms ♥”
Meet Kazami Yuuka. She shall be the one to implement the timless motto of “The Beatings Shall Continue Until _______ Improves”. She is a youkai, a demon, whose powers it is to manipulate flowers. In her profile from the Touhou game, 東方花映塚 ～ Phantasmagoria of Flower View:
A youkai that lives in Gensokyo. Has the ability to manipulate flowers.
She loves seasonal flowers, so throughout the year she moves to the respective
place where the flowers grow: spring flowers for spring, summer flowers for summer,
autumn flowers for autumn, and although there aren’t many, winter flowers for winter.
This time, as she witnessed Gensokyo being overtaken by flowers,
she wasn’t surprised at all and very well understood the situation.
Although she understood it, she thought that it’d be paradise if it
was always this way.
The outbreak must eventually be resolved. She decided that she
would enjoy this outbreak while she can. It’d be a waste to not enjoy this once
every sixty year outbreak.
Without a destination in mind, she enjoyed the flowers as she slept and awoke, as her
Unfortunately, fandom being fandom, would turn her character into…well..the ultimate sadist. She is often seen scaring other youkai and faeries that inhabit Gensokyo (the setting of the game, a bubble dimension in the mountains of Japan, which will be elaborated later). She is also depicted as a bit bloodthirsty, taking a line from Sekai no Senki and Sekai no Monshou (written by Hiroyuki Morioika), as a ‘poisonous flower in full bloom’. She is often depicted with a rather cheerful smile as her clothes are stained with the blood of her enemies and victims. And of course, the third one is that she is like a KV on the game World of Tanks. Slow but with a massive ‘derp’ attack. I mean who needs speed when you are living embodiement of ‘more dakka’?! While I can’t deny that much of the art on her is erotic, quite a few have scarred me to my very soul (okay, maybe not, but still) and yet I’ve grown to like her. And so she stays, for now, as part of my fantasy
harem team of assistants. The next though, is much closer to my heart than Yuuka.
While Westerners see a man’s face on the moon, people in the East picture our planet’s orbiting hunk of rock’s dark features and craters to that of a rabbit. Touhou Project, which takes elements of several mythical stories and whatnot, and fashiones it into its own little universe. This is no exception to our next companion (who the hell am I? The Doctor?!). Her name is Reisen Udongein Inaba, a Lunarian Rabbit who took refuge on Earth after our unprovoked invasion on 1969 (Amusing).
“I heard there is modern weaponry being developed in the mountains. So ridiculous!”
She came to Genokyo to find notorious figures from Lunarian history, Kaguya Houraisan and Erin Yagokoro, and soon establishes herself as their guardian (more like a bodyguard), Erin’s student, and Kaguya’s pet. See, what makes her seemingly unique in the fandom is her style of attack. She attacks the player with her index pointed forward and thumb up, as if pointing a gun. So many artowrk have depicted her with M1911A1s, C96 Mausers, up to and including Noveske and MagPul adorned M4A1s, Kar98Ks, and other such things. Her profile from the Touhou Game, 東方永夜抄 ～ Imperishable Night states that:
A rabbit from the moon.
Her red eyes give her far greater power over insanity than Earth rabbits.
She is currently living as Kaguya’s pet. Her name was originally written レイセン (pronounced Reisen), but it was changed to 鈴仙 (also pronounced Reisen) to better blend into Earth’s civilization.
The other parts of her name are just nicknames. Eirin gave her her first nickname, “Udongein,” and affectionately calls her “Udonge” most of the time. No one is certain why that nickname was given to her, especially since even Eirin doesn’t call her by the full name Udongein. Moon people are hard to understand…
“Inaba” was later bestowed upon her by Kaguya because… well, that’s what she calls all rabbits. Whenever Kaguya says Inaba, she could be referring to Reisen, Tewi, or the scores of other rabbits living in Eientei. It doesn’t seem as though she ever bothered to make a distinction between them. All rabbits probably look the same to her.
Reisen is a fugitive from the moon, which is being invaded by Earth.
As such she may make comments here and there, or strike a pose whenever I feel like talking about firearms, and maybe I just found some nice artwork of Reisen.
Well, say hello to my two assistants (so far), the muse is quickly departing for something more…well much more productive methinks, and I think I’ve ranted enough for today. Or was it truly a rant? Bah I’m kinda tired.