Since my resignation from my clan, it seems I’ve been adrift. Like a little sailing boat with its moorings cut. Lately I find some solace in the WoTLabs forums, but in reality it’s just a place where the unicums congregate without fear of a highly abusive moderator who loves to snort ground up red crayons.
I’ve declined to make any new videos, deferring instead to others like Xiee and Retia to do it. They put out videos of very good quality and in terms of Retia, better gameplay and actual good gameplay. Compared to shittiness I have. Also helps that his garage is filled almost every tank in every line.
As for the game itself? With the mention of the possible introduction of the FV4201 Chieftain (or at least it’s prototypes) into the game, I stick on. I’m looking forward to possibly advancing up the German TD line, but not a definite yet. I don’t really want to retire, considering the sum I’ve invested into this game (possibly $1,000 or $1,200 max in two years), but at this point of time?
I have nothing to keep me interested minus the drive to make my FV4202 crew obtain as many skills and perks as they can. I’m was an ineffective and unimportant member of some circles, and shouldn’t really be sticking around them. I’ve solo’d for a year before I even joined my first clan, and so this change shouldn’t be too bad of a transition back to that.
It’s just feeling lost I guess. And this is compounding with my own work, the stresses in both my retail job and Federal job in which WoT compounds in. All this thing about putting up a good name, stats, tanks performance, play performance. A Pandora’s box opened when I started caring about stats. And while I hate it, I can’t really trust any other metric anymore.
And about the SSD-A and NJG1? Again, adrift, etc, but I think it’s for the better for individuals like myself, who have nothing positive to contribute to it, would stay away from it.
I dunno, I might just need to admit I’m depressed and officially see a specialist, but muh, this is fine.